Making decisions has never been my strong suit, whether its what to eat, what movie to watch, or, say, to go to horse camp or soar.
Life is full of decisions that must be made. From what to eat, where to live, what college to go to.. big or small, each one of us must make decisions. Some are good at making them. Some, like me are not.
While trying to make a certain decision a while ago, I knew I needed to " pray about it". That I did, I felt like I prayed and prayed, yet nothing happened. No thought came that put my mind to rest. I felt I was praying the same thing, over and over, and nothing was happening. I began to question what I was even praying for. Then the answer came, and it wasn't one I liked. This answer, was as plan as day, there was no longer any way I could question what God wanted me to do. The problem was, I did not want to do it. I'm still struggling with it, but slowly, surely, God is showing me what to do in that part of my life....
It makes me think of a song,
" Make me broken, so I can be healed. 'Cause I'm so calloused, and now I can't feel. I wanna run to you with heart wide open, make me broken.
Make me empty so I can be filled. 'Cause I'm still holding on to my will, and I'm completed, when you are with me, make me empty.
'Till you are my one, desire, 'till you are my one true love, 'till you are, my breath my everything, Lord please keep making me.
Make me lonely, so I can be yours, 'til I want no one, more that you Lord, 'cause in the darkness, I know you will hold me, make my lonely." ( Sidewalk Prophets)
Sometimes, God has to make us Broken, or empty, or lonely, so that we must learn to be his. We can pray all we want to about someone, or something, but if God sees it best to make us lonely, there's nothing we can do, but except the truth, and seek God with all our hearts. That's what I'm learning, to seek God with all my heart. to stop worrying about everyone else, and just grow closer to him, although that's a whole lot easier said than done, but, " With God, all things are possible."( Matthew 18:27 What decision might you have to make? I encourage you to pray about it, and when God gives you the answer, be careful not to question him. I promise you that he knows best and will not fail you. Just " Take up your cross and follow him."( Matthew 16:24) ~KayK
