I.Don't.Know.

I don’t know why God didn’t make me a year older; I don’t know why all of my friends are older than I; I don’t know why I constantly feel as if I am in a “waiting period “of life; I don’t know why I can’t just drive yet; I don’t know why I can’t just be on staff at camp already.

I don’t understand any of the above, I don’t know the answers.  I’ve already said that a lot (“I don’t know”) haven’t I? Sometimes I feel like I go through life using that phrase over and over again. 

I.Don’t.Know.

But you know what? I’m learning to be okay with that. I am a planer; I like to know when things are happening and how they are happening. I don’t like not knowing things, it bothers me. I over analyze things, I think them over and over, trying to go over every scenario and what would be the best way of handling that situation. And when I don’t know things, when I can’t figure out the best way of handling things, it puts me on edge.

There are a lot of things in life that I don’t know about. If I knew everything, why would there be a need to trust God?  I don’t know about all yall, but I often find myself falling into a trap of not trusting God and his timing. It’s hard; I will be the first to admit that. Trusting God means giving him our life, it’s complete surrender. Which to me is sometimes a scary thought, I can be bad with trusting others. Slowly but surely, God is showing me how to trust him more. I’m not sure where you are at in trusting God in your life, but take courage. The same one who created you, loves you beyond measure, and knows exactly what’s best for you and why he put you in this certain stage of life. No matter how hard it may seem at the moment; keep on keeping on, and keep on trusting God.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5) 

~KayK 

Homeschooling Pride.

If you know me, or read my blog post, its no secret that I'm home schooled.
Homeschooling, is the basically the best(but I guess I'm slightly biased.) I know its not for everyone, but it certainly has helped me along in life in more ways than I can probably count. I always get a lot of questions when people find out I'm home schooled, so I thought I write about it a little. School takes me about 4-5 hours a day, as opposed to the 7ish that public schools have, I also don't have homework, (Haha, I know what you're thinking, all of my school is "homework" :) so I only spend about half my day on school. The other part of my day is spread out through doing things, generally spending time with siblings is on the list. (Yes, I love hanging out with my siblings) I normally have some sort of craft or something I'm working on to do, (Currently, I'm making a Bull Whip out of para cord.) I like spending time outside after school, knife throwing is a fun time passer. I obviously ride horses, but that only happens once a week or so.
Being home-schooled also allows me to spend time with my family, I am with my mom and sisters almost all day and wouldn't want it any other way.
Yes, I do have friends.
Yes, I do school in my pajamas.
Yes, I eat snacks while I do Algebra.
No, I don't live under a rock.
No, being home-schooled doesn't make me super smart, or super dumb, for that matter.
My Mom taught us a lot with real life experiences, we've gone grocery shopping and running errands with her for as long as I can remember, she was always able to find valuable life lessons no matter where we went or what we did. We never did have a great schedule, it wasn't all "get up at this time and get this and this done then do this and that." but rather, "We can go play at the park if you get your school done" Which, by the way was awesome. I can't imagine my life any other way, nor would I want my life to change in anyway. My mom has invested a lot into all of us kids, loving us and teaching us all she can about not only Math and reading, but God and life.
So, there's a peak into my life, though crazy at times and boring others, I couldn't be more thankful.
~KayK

To You I give my Life...

It seems as if once you reach a certain age or grade (what it is? I'm not sure, sometime around high school.) You begin to get asked again and again, "What next?" You ask yourself that, your parents ask you that, church friends ask it, even strangers ask it when they find out you're in high school. For a long while, I hated that question, because it meant I had to admit that I planed on graduating a year early, some people find this wonderful and fascinating, others think its odd and not very useful. I mean, don't grow up too fast right? I am sure that when I am older, I'll understand that statement more, but as a teenager trying to figure out what to do with life, its not very encouraging. In some scenarios I'm being told "don't grow up too fast" stay young, enjoy being young. On the other hand, I feel the whole world is telling me "You need to know what you're doing with your life, you need to have a plan, go to collage." I consider myself blessed and lucky that I feel I know what I want to do with my life, and also what I believe Gods will for my life is. Once I graduate (hopefully) next year, I want to take classes at the community collage and try and work full time. And in a couple years I want to go out west and find ranch work. Yes, I am probably crazy, No, I don't plan on attending a university or staying in a dorm room, No, I don't think I am missing out. I know my life plan is different than most, but I am quite determined. I have prayed about this, and I know plans can change, If God wills them too. I am trusting him. I feel that ranching is what I was made to do.
So. if you're a high school student still trying to figure out what to do with life, don't stress, pray and pray and pray some more. Seek Gods will, and try to be patient with people when they ask you serious questions about your future.
"To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to
To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life" (No sacrifice, by Jason Upton)
~KayK